A relative of mine once made a comment that actions are the mirror that
reflects intent. That phrase comes back to me from time to time when I come
across something in the news or on television. Generally speaking, I wait to
avoid reacting to things I read about or hear, because early disclosures rarely
provide enough truth to assess what is really going on.
Over the past several weeks I’ve thought about the kerfuffle over
Chick-fil-A’s decision to re-direct its corporate giving, and more to the
point, announcing it would no longer give emphasis to faith based charities
such as The Salvation Army. Why announce this change? Who to donate to, how
much, where, and when are matters largely discussed and decided internally by
the company’s management. These decisions rarely make headlines because they
are rarely discussed outside the boardroom.
I have to conclude the decision by Chick-fil-A to announce the new focus of
its corporate giving programs is one more example of a company walking into the minefield
that is the modern American culture. It is one more company that made a
decision based on surveys which, more often than not, began from the wrong
premise. This false starting point reflects a failure of critical thinking; a
necessary discipline in understanding the relationship between a company’s
purpose and its intent.
Intent and purpose have clearly different meanings, and yet,
they are also linked. It is the relationship between these two ideas that
define a company’s culture. Chick-fil-A’s failure to understand this linkage
led it to the inevitable either/or position from which there is no good
outcome. Either they continue to operate a company built on faith based values,
or jettison many of those values in order to put themselves in a better light
in an increasingly secular world.
Integrity is impossible without ethics, and
ethics is impossible without a moral foundation. Chick-fil-A may come through
this period of controversy positioned to expand and grow; that remains to be
seen. The current leadership asserts
publicly that the company remains committed to Christian values.
Yet, because of the public announcements, overtones of appeasement echo as
a result of these recent actions, and almost any answer they give for their
decisions will smack of moralizing. Just as there is a difference between
intent and purpose, so too is there a difference between moral reasoning and
moralizing. Understanding that difference also requires critical thinking.
What is missing in all of this is a transparent motive that is separate and
apart from the desire to do more business in heretofore unfriendly parts of the
country. It may become clearer in the future, but in the short term, I think
the company will continue to struggle with the conflict between intent and
purpose.
Small businesses and companies escape many of these dilemmas.
I think it is because the owners and leaders of smaller business entities live
closer to the action. The decisions they make, good or bad, provide almost
instant feedback; especially if those actions disappoint the client.
Given the bad rap that business owners and leaders get in
the media, entertainment, and across large segments of the government, they do
the right thing with more consistency than is generally known. To them
integrity is fundamental to who they are and they don’t compromise their
fundamental sense of doing what is right.
Exceptions exist in this as in all things. Yet, I am no
longer surprised by the fact that, at the small business level, owners and
leaders are comfortable talking about ethics and integrity as being key aspects
of their way of doing business and, taken as a whole, do not act in ways that
compromise those pillars of their business.
Larger business rarely take time to learn about or meet with
the owners of small businesses. Yet, opportunities do exist where leaders of
large and small companies can meet and understand the many things they have in
common.
One of those
opportunities is provided each year by the Services Cooperative Association. SCA
is a co-operative comprised of business owners that has a purpose that hasn’t
varied in 36 years. Through its processes, it assists business ownersin Market Expansion, Business Development, Entrepreneurial and
Intrapreneurial Education and Professional Growth. It is a set of processes
that has led numerous companies to succeed where they might otherwise have
failed.
Each year the Services Cooperative Association hosts its Annual Economic
Forecast, and on Wednesday, January 8, 2020 the association will host its 37th
Economic Forecast. Each year the City Controller, or his or her representative,
presents the city’s view of the Houston economy, and Houston Community College
provides an overview for the State of Texas.
Mr. Chris Brown, Controller for the city of Houston, has once again
accepted the invitation to be SCA’s keynote speaker at this event, and
Professor of Economics, Ms. Sophie Haci accepted on behalf of HCC.
As Chairman of the Board for the Services Cooperative Association, I
cordially invite those of you reading this who live in the greater Houston Area
to mark your calendars and take the time to attend this annual event, meet
other small business owners, and gain a fresh perspective on the many issues
that impact our fellow Houstonians.
Every once in a while, when you are deep into a discussion, you hear something that sounds like “and the eagle flew upside down.” Your first reaction is what? What did he say? If the person was talking to you, your second reaction is, am I losing my hearing? So you ask, what did you say? The person typically will give an answer that removes the initial confusion, but it will not ease the sense of disquiet that the person listening missed an essential clue in the conversation.
It is a common feeling because many times we do miss important clues. During his career, Peter Drucker would tell executives he worked with that in a negotiation the most important thing about that negotiation is what is left unsaid. When saying that, one of the things he was alluding to is that neither side takes the time to learn what is important to the other party in the disagreement.
Whether you are negotiating a contract or helping two parties settle a dispute, the truth underlying Peter Drucker’s admonition is an enduring truth. Too many times I see parties in a negotiation assigning little or no value to the other party’s concerns. Having done this for some years now, I’ve learned to discuss this issue early either in a mediation or when hired to help someone through a negotiation.
When I am brought in to consult, I make it clear that the route to a failed negotiation is taking the position that winning on all your key points is all that matters. Some years ago I assisted in a negotiation that led to an impasse because the person I was helping went into the room convinced he was right and the other side needed to see it his way. Many of you reading this already know that the insistence on being right is rarely a winning strategy.
In this instance when my client successfully painted himself into a corner, I suggested we take a break, which he readily agreed to. During our meeting, I asked him what he wanted to do. His first reaction was that he could not give up his position, that the other party would “run the table on him.” I let him talk for a bit, and then I asked him, what are the two key points the other side raised, and why were those two issues important to them?
After a short conversation, it became clear he could not state clearly why those two issues were essential to the other party. He had not learned that before sitting down to negotiate, and he had not discovered it during the negotiation. I suggested that when they resumed the discussions, that he re-set the tone by asking just one question. What is it you want me to know?
It is a simple question, yet a powerful one. Surprisingly, it is one question both sides forget to ask. I recently attended a dinner where a gentleman with a great deal of experience in this field gave a speech, and it was downright eerie to listen to him talk about solving disagreements and using language very similar the language I routinely use.
In the example above the two sides eventually resolved the dispute successfully, but it took a bit of effort to get there. (My client was young, successful, and brash). He had good control over his personal and professional life, except for his ego; which is common among very bright people.
I was reminded of this when I read the book, Multipliers, by Dr. Liz Wiseman. A number of the examples in her book resonated with me because of my own experiences in helping others to become better listeners. I urge those reading my letters to buy this book – after buying my latest book. It’s called The Battle for Ethics and Integrity in the Workplace: The Leaders Dilemma.
And this brings me back to the eagle flew upside down. When you experience such a moment, you will find you don’t have a hearing problem; you have a listening problem. There is a growing awareness of this, and more companies are providing training to their employees to become better listeners. Unsurprisingly, I find too many companies offering these classes to the wrong end of the organization chart.
It is hard to convince employees to engage in better listening exercises when those higher up the chain don’t walk the walk. Managers and senior managers have a hundred different ways of saying “make the problem go away, do it quickly, and as cheaply as possible.” We have all heard variations of that theme enough times to know it creates more problems than it solves. Still, it remains an all too common message employees receive.
The gap between agreement and disagreement won’t go away until you take the other side seriously and they perceive you are doing so. It applies equally to disagreements with coworkers as much as it does at the negotiating table.
When something you read raises a question, don’t be bashful. Give us a call. We can be reached at 346-561-0612, 832-452-8537, or at: info@cdci-mediation.com. You can also learn more about CDC Integrated Services by visiting our website at www.cdci-mediation.com
Food for thought: Beyond the precise meaning found in a dictionary, judgment is more than just the ability to make good decisions about what needs doing. It begins by thinking carefully and critically, which are skills that come through practice. You cannot acquire them by going to a conference or a seminar.
Have a Question Contact CDC Integrated Services, LLC
What Did He Say?
Every once in a while, when you are deep into a discussion, you hear something that sounds like “and the eagle flew upside down.” Your first reaction is what? What did he say? If the person was talking to you, your second reaction is, am I losing my hearing? So you ask, what did you say? The person typically will give an answer that removes the initial confusion, but it will not ease the sense of disquiet that the person listening missed an essential clue in the conversation.
It is a common feeling because many times we do miss important clues. During his career, Peter Drucker would tell executives he worked with that in a negotiation the most important thing about that negotiation is what is left unsaid. When saying that, one of the things he was alluding to is that neither side takes the time to learn what is important to the other party in the disagreement.
Whether you are negotiating a contract or helping two parties settle a dispute, the truth underlying Peter Drucker’s admonition is an enduring truth. Too many times I see parties in a negotiation assigning little or no value to the other party’s concerns. Having done this for some years now, I’ve learned to discuss this issue early either in a mediation or when hired to help someone through a negotiation.
When I am brought in to consult, I make it clear that the route to a failed negotiation is taking the position that winning on all your key points is all that matters. Some years ago I assisted in a negotiation that led to an impasse because the person I was helping went into the room convinced he was right and the other side needed to see it his way. Many of you reading this already know that the insistence on being right is rarely a winning strategy.
In this instance when my client successfully painted himself into a corner, I suggested we take a break, which he readily agreed to. During our meeting, I asked him what he wanted to do. His first reaction was that he could not give up his position, that the other party would “run the table on him.” I let him talk for a bit, and then I asked him, what are the two key points the other side raised, and why were those two issues important to them?
After a short conversation, it became clear he could not state clearly why those two issues were essential to the other party. He had not learned that before sitting down to negotiate, and he had not discovered it during the negotiation. I suggested that when they resumed the discussions, that he re-set the tone by asking just one question. What is it you want me to know?
It is a simple question, yet a powerful one. Surprisingly, it is one question both sides forget to ask. I recently attended a dinner where a gentleman with a great deal of experience in this field gave a speech, and it was downright eerie to listen to him talk about solving disagreements and using language very similar to the language I routinely use.
In the example above the two sides eventually resolved the dispute successfully, but it took a bit of effort to get there. (My client was young, successful, and brash). He had good control over his personal and professional life, except for his ego; which is common among very bright people.
I was reminded of this when I read the book, Multipliers, by Dr. Liz Wiseman. A number of the examples in her book resonated with me because of my own experiences in helping others to become better listeners. I urge those reading my letters to buy this book – after buying my latest book. It’s called The Battle for Ethics and Integrity in the Workplace: The Leaders Dilemma.
And this brings me back to the eagle flew upside down. When you experience such a moment, you will find you don’t have a hearing problem; you have a listening problem. There is a growing awareness of this, and more companies are providing training to their employees to become better listeners. Unsurprisingly, I find too many companies offering these classes to the wrong end of the organization chart.
It is hard to convince employees to engage in better listening exercises when those higher up the chain don’t walk the walk. Managers and senior managers have a hundred different ways of saying “make the problem go away, do it quickly, and as cheaply as possible.” We have all heard variations of that theme enough times to know it creates more problems than it solves. Still, it remains an all too common message employees receive.
The gap between agreement and disagreement won’t go away until you take the other side seriously and they perceive you are doing so. It applies equally to disagreements with coworkers as much as it does at the negotiating table.
When something you read raises a question, don’t be bashful. Give us a call. We can be reached at 346-561-0612, 832-452-8537, or at: info@cdci-mediation.com. You can also learn more about CDC Integrated Services by visiting our website at www.cdci-mediation.com
Food for thought: Beyond the precise meaning found in a dictionary, judgment is more than just the ability to make good decisions about what needs doing. It begins by thinking carefully and critically, which are skills that come through practice. You cannot acquire them by going to a conference or a seminar.
We at CDC Integrated Services wish to take a moment to thank everyone who chose us to aid them with the issues brought to us during the past year. We are grateful for your business and wish all of our clients a safe and peaceful new year.
Benefits of a Professional Conflict Resolution Services On Retainer: Dozens of different conflicts confront people in a corporate setting every day. It’s a fact of life, and with millions of people are in the workforce today, it’s not going to get any easier. Some companies have such strife among the workers that the work environment becomes hostile, and getting things done is difficult at best. To avoid such potentially disastrous consequences, it is important to have options, including access to a professional conflict resolution service already on retainer. The following are the benefits that will come with hiring a professional to facilitate/mediate conflicts that fall outside the normal give and take dynamic.
Conflict Solution Companies Put Employees First: When human interaction in the workplace causes strife, workers can find themselves in difficult situations. Most companies have policies that direct employees to seek the assistance of their supervisors when experiencing difficulties, but what if the supervisor or manager is the source of the conflict?
The outside conflict solutions company companies put employees first and make sure that they understand that facilitators/mediators are not there to cause anyone to lose their job, or causing the company any problems. Conflict solution professions know how to defuse disputes in ways that allow the parties to move forward more productively. Their goal is to breakdown the arguments, remove false assumptions, open communication between disputants, and expand options. To do it correctly takes time, and that is a resource not available to those trying to get the job done.
The Goal is Peaceful Resolution: Going forward, you’ll find that a conflict resolution company achieves peaceful outcomes at a very high rate and at surprisingly modest costs when compared to traditional avenues such as litigation or arbitration. The goal here is to make sure that anger and other frenetic emotional responses are not the norms. Emotional responses drive negative behaviors that make the arguments more difficult to overcome, and conflict professionals can help with calming things down before strife causes those involved to quit. Turnover produces many negatives of its own, and facilitating/mediating disputes can have a positive effect on the “revolving door”.
Quick Recovery: When conflicts are not resolved promptly and fairly, the parties involved will build and hold grudges, and at some point, those grudges will boil over. They will feed lingering discontent, and will not want to work things out when future disagreements arise. Conflict solutions professionals focus on efficiently resolving conflicts and problems for their client company. Their goal is to make sure that conflict resolution creates an agreement between the parties, and the dynamics of the group is restored. A powerful benefit of having a conflict solutions company on retainer is it thwarts the paralysis of uncertainty, allowing a healing process to begin much sooner.
Empowering Your Workers: Following along with other benefits, it’s imperative to understand that a professional conflict resolution company empowers workers by providing them the means to resolve the conflict and stay in control of the process. They educate the workers and unite people instead of dividing them. They focus on hearing all sides. They work towards resolving issues that are going to help not only the immediate issue(s) but will offer a blueprint for employees going forward. Managers and employees will be empowered to deal with conflicts before they get out of hand. Ultimately, over time a cultural shift may occur making the use of the outside professional necessary only on an exception basis.
The Results Matter: As stated above, the most obvious benefit is the high degree of success. Moreover, once implemented, the willingness of employees to use the process under the guidance of the neutral third-party increases, and the number of intractable disputes decreases.
Want to know more? Please contact us for more information. We can be reached at 832-452-8537
I recently read an interesting article in one of the mediation blogs I follow. In that article was a phrase that caught my attention, which reads, in part, “when parties agree to mediate, the search for solutions is not a sign of weakness”. This phrase brought home in a simple way the challenge all mediators face.
Once you have done this a time or two you discover several ways to get things started so that each side talks about the issues that brought them to the table that day. The challenge, though, is getting them to ask the kind of questions they need to ask of the other party that will lead them away from an entrenched defense of their point of view.
In order to explore alternatives the parties need to reach a level of confidence that allows the parties to begin the examination of alternatives. They can only do that by becoming curious about/interest in the other party’s point of view.
A good mediator prepares the parties for the mediation by setting the stage, and in doing so gets the parties to buy into small agreements about the process that will be used. These small agreements occur where the mediator talks about mundane things such as the mechanics of the mediation, his or her role, the expectation of good manners and courtesy, and other such things. During this process, the mediator also explains that this is “their” mediation, and they control the outcome.
At this point the mediator also reminds them in a deliberately low-key manner that they will be the negotiators, they will be the authors of the final agreement, and at that point encourages them to ask questions after each side has stated the reasons for being there.
In my mediations I take several opportunities to make the parties comfortable with the idea of asking questions so that when the parties actually begin to engage each other so that, as mediator I can, where appropriate, encourage the pursuit of questions intended to invite an exploration of solutions without the parties seeing that as a threat or sign of weakness.
In other parts of my business I talk about the importance of building a framework from which questions can be asked and explored. I also emphasize why asking questions is important in my book The Monday Morning Checklist, A Guide for Experienced Leaders in a Busy World. The book is available through Amazon at: http://amzn.to/2f08DIH.
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